Nobody Said Love Was Easy
by ViBookWorm
Summary: John loves Sherlock, always has. The problem is realising it. When John finds Sherlock about to do the unforgivable will this be the catalyst that starts the landslide of truth or will a little help from an unexpected quarter be in order?


Sherlock stared at the syringe in his hand. He was so bored. He needed stimulation and he needed it now. But John….John was in the kitchen but Sherlock knew he had time to inject it and get upstairs before John had a chance to realise. But John trusted him and he valued John's trust…. he gritted his teeth, this 'friend' stuff had never bothered him before and it wasn't going to stop him now. He moved the syringe towards his upper arm.

"Sherlock do you wan te-WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU DOING?" John furious yell echoed throughout the apartment. Tea and shards of china flew everywhere as John dropped the mugs, which shattered on the floor.

Sherlock frowned "You are back earlier than I predicted."

John's mouth dropped open incredulously "That..that's all you have to say? I catch you about to shoot up and you say THAT?"

Sherlock shrugged, trying desperately to remain nonchalant and appear like he wasn't bothered by the interruption, _just continue as though he wasn't there, don't let him see that you're rattled._ Sherlock thought.

Even though John had been an army doctor he had still been trained to notice the tensing of someone's arm when they were about to attempt to send a bullet through your head. He saw the tightening of Sherlock's arm which indicated he was about to 'shoot', saw the brow relax in anticipation of pulling the 'trigger'…John launched himself across the room and snatched the syringe out of Sherlock's astonished grip and threw it hard against the opposite wall.

"John!" Sherlock was on his feet looking absolutely stunned, John whirled and there was a fire in his dark blue eyes that made Sherlock truly realise how this man had shot someone through the head and be completely fine about it afterwards. This man was a trained and deadly. This man wasn't his John Watson.

With a snarl of rage John threw Sherlock against the wall and growled out "Five hours. I'll be gone for five hours. I want all of the drugs out of this house by then or I will move out Sherlock and I. Will. Not. Come. Back. Me or drugs Sherlock? Choose. Five hours. Do I make myself clear?" And without even waiting for an answer John spun on his heel, leaving Sherlock alone with the forlorn shards of the broken mugs.

**0o0**

John wandered the streets of London aimlessly, he eventually came to small park and sat on the swing set and swung back and forth, thinking hard. He was so angry at Sherlock, they had agreed…._but,_ a voice in John's head piped up, _you are more scared and worried than angry, aren't you?_

"Hello." John looked up, there was guy standing front of him with messy blonde hair and muscles that wouldn't have made him out of place in an elite army team.

"Uhhh hello?" John replied

The man sighed "No, you don't know me if that's what you're wondering. Mind if I take that one?" he asked pointing to the swing next to John.

"Go right ahead."

They sat in silence for a while until the man spoke again "Relationship troubles?"

"I….well…of a sort. Flatmate….friend troubles. You?" John answered

"Relationship. I always come here when I'm stressed. Do you mind me asking what your friend did?"

"Not so much what he did but what he was going to do. He was about to shoot up, I told him drugs or me…I'm giving him five hours to choose and either keep or destroy the drugs." John had no idea why he was spilling his guts to this random stranger but he kept going suddenly finding himself unable to stop.

"I know he's had drug problems in the past but I thought….I thought he'd changed and he's so bloody fucking amazing, he's going to destroy himself with the poisonous concoctions he injects. I care SO DAMN MUCH ABOUT HIM AND HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCKING DAMN! I JUST WANT HIM TO BE SAFE AND NOT...I JUST CAN'T LOSE HIM!" John finished his rant which had escalated into full blown screaming and took a deep breath. "Sorry." He muttered

"Let it all out mate." The blonde grimaced "Sounds like your problems are almost as bad as mine, 'cept you don't have the added trouble of loving the damn idiot."

John was intrigued "What did your girlfriend do?

The man gave a wry smile "Boyfriend."

"Oh sorry. What did your boyfriend do? I laid all my problems on you, time to return the favour I think."

"He just puts himself in danger all the time, getting cocky, playing life like it's a godamn game and if he isn't bloody careful he's gonna end up falling hard from the sky high pedestal he's built for himself! Came home to find him bragging about some raid he had gone on….damn fucker nearly got killed! Thinks he's fucking invincible BUT HE ISN'T AND I WORRY ALL THE TIME WHETHER HE'S GOING TO COME HOME OR…." The man trailed off and swallowed hard "Sorry."

John grinned "Let it all out mate." Then the smile slid off his face "Is he in the army?"

"Nah, I used to be though."

"Oh really? Me too. I was a doctor though. So is he in the police force?" John inquired

The man stared for a second and then dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, John stared. The man continued laughing until he fell off the swing. "Th…t…the….p…p…..pol….police….f…oorr….force? O….oh that's g…..good.!"

"Um…ok?" John said feeling slightly nervous. The blonde finally regained control of himself and in one smooth move had flicked back into the swing, John saw about ten different muscles rippling and flexing, he had a feeling that he would not want to meet this guy in a fight. Ever.

"Name's Sebastian."

"John." They shook hands and just chatted. It started to get dark but they ignored it, after four hours, John could feel his throat getting scratchy, when he paused for a second, Sebastian looked at him and said "I was wrong."

"E..excuse me?" John said, while attempting to clear his throat.

"You do have the added problem of being in love with your idiotic flatmate."

"Woah! What? No, it isn't…."

"Do you do things that inconvenience you greatly just so you could see him smile?"

"Yes."

"Do you find it hard to stay totally mad at him even when he gives you such a barrage of insults it leaves you reeling?"

"Yes."

"Would you lay down your life for him."

"Yes."

"Would you kill for him?"

"Yes! I don't see the point of these questions, we're just fri-"

"Ok, first emotion that pops into your mind when you hear the thing I'm about to say. You come home and see some random chick making out with your flatmate on the couch."

John felt a wave of anger and jealousy. Wait. WHAT? Jealousy? No. Ohhhh no.

"Words to describe your flatmate?"

"Genius, incredible, fantastic, amazing….." John stopped himself as he heard the words spilling out of his mouth. _I sound like a lovesick puppy_, he thought in horror.

And then images began to flicker past in his mind, Sherlock grinning at him, Sherlock deducing crazy things seemingly out of thin air, Sherlock insulting Donovan, Sherlock turning up the collar of his coat making him look mysterious and pretty attractive too…..

"Exactly." Sebastian said triumphantly as though he knew exactly what John was thinking.

"Oh god." John said his voice shaking slightly

Sebastian hopped off his swing and put an arm around John's shoulders "It'll be fine mate."

"Yeah um….thanks."

"No problem….here's my number. My boyfriend and I would be happy to help you out if…you know…."

"He chooses the drugs." John said flatly

"Uh yes. Look, I better go, talking to you helped you know. Usually I just go shoot someone."

John snorted "Nice."

"Isn't it just? Bye."

Sebastian walked away and John was left swinging listlessly, to ponder what he had learned.

**0o0**

Sherlock sat waiting on the couch, he was pressing his fingers together but he still couldn't stop their subtle trembling. John was due back any minute now and he knew that he wasn't going to be very happy with him.

It had been such a shock to see the other side of John, he was usually calm and even when he got mad it was relatively mild. But this…..he had never seen John that upset and angry before. Sherlock shut his eyes as he thought of what John had said… '_I will move out Sherlock and I. Will. Not. Come. Back._'

The surge of panic that had surged through him at those words had surprised him, he knew that he didn't want John to leave but the strength of his reaction had not been predicted. Sherlock frowned, he had an inkling of what was going on but he really hoped he was mistaken.

Romance was not something he had ever experienced, fascination yes, but deep meaningful feelings? Never.

Sherlock shook his head, he must be mistaken, must have drawn the wrong hypothesis. There was the click of the door downstairs and he bolted upright. John was back.

Sherlock heard footsteps coming towards the living room and suddenly John was standing in front of him, his hair mussed and cheeks pink with the chill outside. Sherlock's stomach swooped and felt a burst of affection for the cute man stan- oh. Right hypothesis. He swallowed hard.

"So? Am I staying or…..?" John asked brusquely

Sherlock stood up and said in a quiet voice "Staying. It's gone." He saw the look of pure relief that flashed across John's face but it quickly faded back into worry.

"And if I _ever_ catch you doing that again. I _WILL_ leave."

"Understood." Sherlock nodded and then said "Do you want coffee?"

John looked at him "It's midnight."

"Actually it's four minutes past twelve. Tea then?" Sherlock asked

John nodded "Alright."

Sherlock walked into the kitchen and began to mechanically make the tea. As he lifted the kettle to pour into the mugs he realised his hand was shaking again. He gritted his teeth and tried to steady it, with no result.

A hand enveloped his on the handle of the kettle, warm, rough, and soothing. John."Here, let me."

Sherlock drew his hand out from under John's and watched as John continued making the tea, his mind racing, analysing every reaction, every feeling that he had felt when John had initiated hand to hand contact.

"Now you really need that shock blanket." John said as he handed the mug of steaming tea to Sherlock, "Are you alright?"

Sherlock stared, how could John's tone sound so…..nice after what had just happened? "I've never seen you like that." He replied after a while

John frowned as he sat down at the kitchen table, pushing aside stacks of tottering papers "Like what?"

"When you dashed the syringe out of my hand, you looked so…intense." Sherlock replied as he slid gracefully into the seat opposite John,

A look of horror flew across John's face "You mean I'm the reason you're shaking? Oh Sherlock I'm sorry I didn't mean to- but I just couldn't-still shaking after five hours-what I mean is…..oh screw it." John faded away into silence and they sat quietly together.

Finally John gave a bitter laugh "Who knew saying something could be this difficult."

"Excuse me?" Sherlock looked up over the rim of his mug at John who was twisting the cuff of his woollen jumper so hard it was fraying.

John sighed "Sherlock….look I….I know you probably won't want to stay friends but I really have to-"

"NO!" The desperation of Sherlock's exclamation shocked even him "No. John you can't leave." He lowered his voice "Please don't leave John." Sherlock inwardly winced, he had no idea he'd degrade himself to begging for John to stay. This 'feeling' stuff was more powerful than he'd originally suspected.

"What?" John looked utterly bewildered

"You were going to say that you had to leave weren't you? Going to say that you couldn't live with a someone who uses drugs." Sherlock had his eyes closed and his head tilted away from John.

"What? No! Sherlock….you're not…..you were clean for ages. I believe that you can stay clean. I'm not moving out, well unless you want me to." John gave a small grimace.

Sherlock's eyes flashed open "No. I do not want you to leave. Why would I want you to leave?"

"Well, would you want to stay in the same house as me if you knew I had….more than a friend feelings for you?"

Sherlock frowned again "I know you do."

"WHAT?" John bellowed

"Yes, I know you regard me as a best friend." Sherlock said, not quite understanding John's reaction.

John sat back in his chair and stared with wonder at Sherlock "How can a man so brilliant be this dense?"

Sherlock looked mildly offended "Say what you mean John."

"I..uh….well….like you. In…a….romantic way. I mean I find you attractive…um…yes, that sort of way." John managed to stammer out keeping his eyes locked onto an acid burn mark on the table.

Sherlock's ever racing brain screeched to a grinding halt and then crashed and burned with the sound of squealing metal.

"I…I….I…." Sherlock snapped his mouth shut in horror. Stammering? The great Sherlock Holmes did NOT stammer.

John sighed and passed a hand over his eyes "I'm sorry Sherlock. I know you don't do 'relationships' so I really don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. It won't get in the way of anything I promise…."

"No John!" Sherlock winced as he realised exactly how loud that had been

John jumped, nearly spilling tea down in his front "Oh…ok…I get it. I sort of expected this. I'll just..go." John raised his head and there was a jagged, emptiness in his eyes that terrified Sherlock.

There was a the sound of a chair scraping back that snapped Sherlock from his reverie about John's eyes.

John had made it to the door when there was a rush of displaced air and he found himself on the ground with a wild-eyed Sherlock on top of him. Evidently he had attempted to stop John leaving the room by any means possible.

"Sherlock what-?" John yelped, he was suddenly very aware of Sherlock's scent all around him and the fact that Sherlock was straddling his hips.

Sherlock didn't answer but his eyes burned with more emotion than John had ever seen.

"Seriously Sherlock. You need to get off me. Now." His voice came out even and calm for which John mentally hi-fived himself, god knows how he'd managed that under the current circumstances.

Still Sherlock didn't move. Or speak. Or blink. It was almost like he had morphed into a statue, John was getting more and more confused.

"Sherlock?" He asked attentively.

"John." Sherlock finally spoke and there was a strange tone in there that John couldn't quite identify.

"Um…"

"John. John. John. _John_." Sherlock was chanting his name over and over like a mantra and dear god was it doing bad things to him

"Sherlock. If you don't get off me we are going to have a problem." John hissed through gritted teeth

Then everything was knocked clean out of John's head as Sherlock bent his head and kissed him. As Sherlock's tongue swept his bottom lip, John's mind rebooted enough to think that it should be illegal for anyone with so little experience to be this good at kissing, then even that thought was gone. Swept away in a tidal wave of bliss, relief, happiness, dizziness and joy.

As Sherlock pulled back for air John noticed that his eyes had a worried look in them. "A….bit not good?"

"No." John breathed "Good. Very very good." Then he reached up and pressed his lips to Sherlock's.

**0o0**

At 3am a phone beeped on the bedside table, there was a sleepy mumble and then "I'll get it Seb." A long fingered, manicured hand picked up the phone and frowned at the text from an unknown number on the screen.

"_My flatmate and I now have the added __advantage__ of loving each other. Thanks for your help_." The man read out loud "Who is this from?"

A tousled blonde head stuck out of the blankets "Jus' a bloke I met in th' park, love life crisis…..god lets go back to sleep." The man murmured groggily.

"Sebastian Moran, what have I told you about talking to strangers? Do I need to track him down and make sure he wasn-"

"Jim. He was a random guy in a park. I think we'll be fine." The other man grumbled "Now back to bed." His head flopped back onto the pillow and was fast asleep in seconds.

Something that was almost a caring expression flashed across James Moriarty's face as he stared down at his favourite sniper before he put down the phone and joined him under the covers.


End file.
